You’re Write, Dear

First, a note to the driver of the beaten cargo van, the guy with the big curly hair and black horn-rimmed glasses who looked my way and uttered “Wow, you are FAT.”: Thanks, Captain Obvious. It’s not my only gift. I can read lips, too.

For the most part, I’ve gotten accustomed to the looks from people who notice my size. Relax. I have mirrors in my house, so I am just aware as anyone around me what I look like.

I no longer make apologies, excuses, or explanations for the size it’s taken 32 years go grow. In fact, it’s YOU I pity. I believe the verbal obnoxiousness of people, on this subject and any other, are a way of believing you can elevate yourself by putting others down.

The odd comment I can deal with. Sometimes I even fling a comeback. But I will admit: since my parents raised me to be polite, there are some things that I have heard that have stunned me to silence. Those obnoxious-to-outrageous comments stopped me in my tracks at that time.

However, among some of my friends, I am queen of snappy comebacks. So for those who have silenced me, here they are, with the original offender’s comments. (Don’t forget to read to the end for my favorite solution of all.)

Feel free to add, or contribute, your own comments:

“Well, you know, that neighborhood has become awfully…DARK.”

(Dramatically whispered at a business networking dinner in the company of an entirely Caucasian audience. For this one, I couldn’t help myself; I had a prompt comeback.)

“Well, maybe they should call the power company to update their lighting. I’m sure that would solve the need.”

“Well, you ought to think about babies yourself. You know, your biological clock is ticking.”

(Said to me when I was single, 24, not dating anyone seriously, at a baby shower for a friend.)

“I’ve hit the snooze.”

“I want a puppy first.”

“You’re right; I’ll pick out a ‘baby daddy’ tonight at the bar.”

“Darn, I was really enjoying just having meaningless recreational sex.”

“Well, he liked just everyone and anyone. He even liked n****** and Democrats.”

(Said at visitation before my father’s funeral ABOUT MY FATHER.)

If only I’d just put my arm around the person and said sweetly, “That’s right, and remember, he loved you too.” (more…)

I love dance class. That’s probably not a declaration you’ll get from every plus-sized, 49-year-old woman.

Belly dance appealed to me from the start. I went to see a friend (whom I met through her day job) dance at a nightclub about five years ago. There were dozens of students, teachers, and appreciative fans. What really hooked me was the other dancers: younger, older, larger, smaller than me. At the musicians’ break times, ALL the dancers and students would get on the dance floor. Not one of them looked like the way her stomach, hips, or anything else looked or felt mattered. Nobody commented or stared, excepting happy laughter and applause.

My friend was amazing. In any other moment, she is friendly and engaging, but a little on the shy side. You don’t see it when she dances. In that moment, she is beautiful, sensual, confident and happy.

That performance opened the door to discovering that each dancer has a “secret life” waiting to express itself. I saw the secret reveled in class this week. (more…)

The circle of trees outside the window

Bends and sways

To the song of the wind

And each tree dips her limbs in turn:

The first opens her arms to the horizon

Rippling like a python;

Another flutters delicate fingers in the breeze

Sculpting sensuous shapes;

The next draws circles from her lowest branches

As the circle shimmies in the breeze

And they return to a single circle,

Twisting and undulating in winter sky.

I have just finished yet another game of solitaire on the computer, it is nearly 1 AM and I really need sleep. But I can’t sleep, can’t do housework and wake up my husband—so I play solitaire. (more…)

Welcome to the website of Carla Dodd, and I promise this will (well, probably will) be the last time I will refer to myself in third person. Images all around me, crazy ideas that pop into my head, not so crazy ideas that pop into my head, and thoughts that just randomly swing by and get put down in words are my inspiration. I hope they inspire you, too–and please contribute your own thoughts.